Heyah, I’m Patey!
My first chosen career is in teaching. Children and learning are what I poured most of my professional care into for almost 20 years. It was only until I had my own children and greatly benefitted from my fantastic birth doula, that I ever considered a different calling.
The very moment I heard the term “Death Doula” on the radio, I knew it was meant for me.
The best way I can describe myself is a mixture of Kindergarten-teacher extrovert-bubbly and that person that talks just a bit too long about deep topics at the dinner table. Any table, really.
Deep and meaningful conversations about real topics invigorate me. I feel strongly that things need to be discussed. I want to be a part of those courageous conversations. We owe it to those of us who are asking the questions. Children are capable of taking part in big topics. I understand that so many of us don’t know what to say when hard times inevitably show up. Heck, I may not know what should be said, but I know we can figure it out together. We owe it to the children that we will all one day leave behind, to create space for these discussions and to keep asking questions ourselves.
As the saying goes, “It takes a village”, but for more than just raising children! I feel strongly that we all need villagers in our community that support one another during the big chapters in life.
…and if we need it, we need to be it!
I’m often asked why I want to work in and around grief and death, and the simple answer is because I can see love everywhere, even in the hard stuff. To me, it’s the epitome of everything that is beautiful about life. I have personally dealt with serious and chronic illness in the past. They forced me to face my own mortality, once before becoming a parent and once after. It’s no fear or tear-free experience. What better purpose than to use that experience and put it towards helping others? As a villager, I consider myself blessed for having the opportunity.
I’m also so driven by Brené Brown’s beautiful words;
“Don’t look away. Don’t look down. Don’t pretend not to see hurt. Look people in the eye. Even when their pain is overwhelming. And when you’re hurting and in pain, find the people who can look you in the eye.”
— Brené Brown
I am inspired by the strength it takes to be someone that looks directly in the face of hurt. I think I know how to hold space for people. I’d like to for you, if that’s what you need. I can help you figure out what to do and how to have those tough conversations. (I can also try to make someone laugh at the just-right moment when it’s needed, Tee Hee!)
Reach out if you want me to village for you.
With gratitude,
Patey <3
Every interaction I have within the capacity of a doula is in dedication to S.C. and her selflessness towards those with whom she worked with at the end of their lives. Who knew she planted this beautiful and loving seed for me all those years ago. I definitely didn’t! It is a great privilege to be able to be intentional with the lessons she taught me.
I wish you were still here, but I know you’re around. Thank you!